Dear Agony Aunt,
I know you mostly receive emails from children but i need help as a parent. My 12 year old daughter has been asking me for a smartphone so she can get on social media ‘like her friends’. She has been asking for it since she turned 12 and now she will turn 13 in a couple of months. i have been skeptical about allowing her access to social media because of all the cyber ills that i read and hear about. Do you think I’m being too protective? Are there perhaps some platforms that are child friendly and safe or will i have to teach her about online safety myself?
Please help,
Protective Mum
Dear Protective Mum,
Thank you for your email. Many parents find themselves in a similar situation and are often faced with the same questions. I understand why you would be apprehensive about giving your 12-year-old daughter a smartphone especially considering the ills that you mentioned online. While it’s tempting to think that denying a child a mobile device would be the solution to protecting them, I’d like to challenge you to think about what you could do to make sure that you give your child the necessary skills and tools to navigate the online space so that she still reaps the benefits of existing in the digital age. Consider this, we realise that the physical world is full of people good and bad people who may influence our children. In spite of this, we make the decision to allow our children to go out in the world and socialise and interact with different people as this is a necessary part of their growth and development. As a parent you make sure that you play your part by guiding your child and teaching them about what is good and bad, how to treat other people with dignity and respect and to constantly choose right over wrong and equip themselves with the necessary social-skills so that they can be upstanding and law abiding citizens. The same applies to the internet.
There are various tools available here on HASHPLAY to ensure that your child can be protected online (also see Parents Corner). Most social media networks also have personal settings that can be adjusted to suit your child’s needs. Your child should, with your assistance, scrutinise the profile settings on networks such as Facebook and Instagram to ensure more control around privacy and content on these platforms. But preceding all of this, you and your daughter need to have a conversation about privacy and dignity and what this means for online users before you purchase the phone. Encourage your child to also become a responsible digital citizen and expose her to the tools I’ve mentioned above. Obviously this is a conversation that will need to be revisited from time to time as more information becomes available and as policies change (which we will make sure you are updated on here on this platform).
Good luck.
#Auntienet