Dear Social Media Agony Aunt,
I’d like to stay anonymous if you don’t mind. I am a 14-year-old boy who lives in Johannesburg and I have been on social media for about two years now since I received my phone as a birthday present from my parents. A school mate of mine has been posting very sad messages online recently, some have even seemed suicidal. We are friends on Facebook but we do not talk to each other much in person. I’m not sure if she is joking or whether she is really depressed. I thought of sending her a private message but I’m not sure if I should. Is there a way that I can get people from Facebook to help her in way that doesn’t scare her? Or should I send her the message?
Please help.
Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you your email. Please be assured that your identity will always be withheld. We have to share your question however to help others who might be in the same predicament as you and your friend. I must commend you for caring enough about your friend to seek help.
The great thing about reporting things to Facebook is that feedback and action is provided in time. Another great thing is that you can do this without the person knowing that you are the one who reported their content. Now, to report posts, you should drop down the menu that appears on the right hand side of a post and click where it says report. When you do this, it will give you different categories. You must choose the one that says ‘Suicide or Self Injury’. Facebook will immediately reach out to your friend with information that may be helpful.
Do not stop there. In such a serious matter, we need to make sure all possible help is sought. You will have to call the toll free Child Helpline number on 0800 055 555 and The South African Depression and Anxiety Group on 0800 567 567. Since this is an emergency, you will also have to call the police at 10111. Please also report to a trusted teacher or family member who might also help.
With regards to sending her a message on Facebook, I advise that you rather only do this if you and your friend are close even if you don’t meet often. There are friends one has with whom they are close with even if they don’t often meet. If on one of those meetings you talked about personal things even if it was just about where she spent or would spend her Christmas holidays, then you can send that message. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy message. Just something simple like, ‘Friend, what’s with the latest post? Is everything alright? I am worried about you’. Such a message might result in her confiding in you and that’s when you will use that opportunity to tell her to seek help from a counselor, a trusted teacher or family member. It’s okay is she doesn’t confide in you or becomes defensive because you know that Facebook and all those people you reported to about her situation will reach out to her.
You are a good friend, Anonymous.
Yours,
AuntieNet